The Louvre, my school’s kitchen, and Mission Impossible x
Esme Gordon-Craig
You’re probably well aware that on the 19th of October a group of thieves broke into the Louvre and stole a collection of France’s crown jewels. I’d consider this now old news so I won’t waste time discussing the details of the robbery nor will I comment upon the outburst of memes which has kept me very much entertained during my time as an unemployed member of society. However, what I will mention is the most recent discovery that the password for the Louvre’s surveillance system was, are you ready for it, ‘Louvre’. You honestly can’t write this stuff! It’s like something out of Jonny English, except in the movie the Louvre’s security would have at least tried to be a bit clever by misspelling the word ‘Louvre’. In my movie script Jonny English, being the useless yet genius spy that he is, obviously wouldn’t know how to spell Louvre, so, in a moment of comedy gold, spells it ‘Loovre’ and subsequently is granted access to their entire security system! (Why Jonny English is breaking into the Louvre I haven’t yet decided but, Hollywood, if you’re reading this, my contact details can be found using the link in my bio).
Besides acting as a reminder that we’re all human and thus incredibly useless no matter what jobs we get; this revelation also reminded me of a heist of my own, one which took place in my old school’s kitchen and similarly involved the guessing of a far too simplistic password. I’ll set the scene, it was mid-A-levels, a group of us were revising in the library which happened to be right next to the school’s kitchen – locked away of course. Bored as we were, we decided to try and crack the four-digit code which stood between us and the never-ending supply of biscuits, croissants, and crisps. Everyone gave it a go, testing out the most complicated of codes – 1066 was tried twice – but sadly no one could crack it. As others admitted defeat and began returning to their revision, I thought I’d give it one last go. ‘1234’ - click, the lock turned, the door opened, and, in a matter of seconds I was transformed into a class legend. I believe I have this heist to thank for me passing my A-levels – apologise to all students who repeatedly missed out on shortbread Tuesday.
Mission Impossible:
Moving from real-life action-packed dramas to a fictional one, this week I watched the new Mission Impossible. No spoilers I promise, but what I will say is be strategic about when you’re planning on watching it. As you may know from the last movie, the threat that Tom Cruise and the world faces is nuclear war. Therefore, from experience, I recommend not watching this movie too close to Bonfire Night. I went to bed to the explosive sounds of fireworks – as you can imagine I didn’t get much sleep.